Cry It Out? Not For Us.

Several times I have been in situations where the conversation between moms has turned to letting babies "cry it out" and in each situation someone always mentions 'that friend' who doesn't let their baby cry it out and then goes into some sort of description of how the life of 'that friend' is chaotic and being run by the baby's demanding sleep schedule. Hmmmm.

And normally at this point I politely check out of the conversation, tend to Caiden, but do keep an ear on what's being said because frankly- I'm curious. I've noticed this trend in the conversations of moms who practice the cry it out method of teaching their babies to sleep. Once one mom confesses her choice of this method, the other moms using cry it out seem to come out of the woodwork nodding in agreement and sharing quick blurbs about how letting their babies cry it out was THE answer to their sleeping challenges.

I like being able to make my own parenting choices and have others respect them whether or not they totally agree. But when I routinely hear the stories about 'that friend' being shared in a less than flattering manner- it's when I start to wonder if these moms truly believe in crying it out. I have to ask- why must they always bring up a friend who doesn't use cry it out and place this friend in a negative light? Are they trying to convince themselves they are making the right decision by making the alternative option seem awful?

We have a family bed and our sleep routine is not awful and yes- my husband and I do have a sex life. My baby has slept with us since he was born. It has worked out wonderfully for us. I do not feel like this is a problem and I have never felt like having my son in our bed was an intrusion into our life. We knew before we even had a baby that our life would change. And we were right. I gave birth to a baby who hated being in a crib from the moment he was born. Plain and simple- once we placed him in the hospital crib he would wake up right away and cry. We tried over and over and over to make it work. The nurses tried to make it work- and these ladies had some superior baby care skills! But even they could not get our baby boy to comfortably rest in his crib.

On the contrast, once he was placed in the hospital bed with me, he would fall fast asleep. A beautiful and peaceful sleep. It was then I realized- this is where he wants to sleep and that's the way it's going to be. I remember thinking about the fact he DID just come from INSIDE me and how unnatural having to sleep would feel if he can't FEEL me. And I'm thankful my husband and I were able to make the family bed work. Neither of us are heavy sleepers and we both agreed that if the way for all three of us to get a good night's sleep was to be together- so be it!

And I'm fully aware there will be a time when our baby will be in his own bed. And I'm also aware it might be a tricky transition but I'd much rather deal with it when he's old enough to reason with and he understands me when I tell him that Mama and Dada will always be there for him and if he needs us we are just a few doors away.

Again- I respect the fact that family beds don't and can't work for everyone. But it does work for us and I'm a very happy, healthy, well rested mom:-)!